I have to thank Astroknowlogy, Mr Heironimuss/Z, Wandergeist and SaggImc for all the input at the time I thought I would explode. It was like being in a pressure cooker. Now the pressure seems to grow on me and I ’ve become a bit of a slave driver turned jaded cynical Saturn effect. My question seemed at that time a need for closure or guidance. Pain and discomfort did not really seem interesting to me, until I realized 5 months after I could push myself physically and mentally. I am not really looking forward to what’s out there but that what do I really live for. Or What am I living for? I know this sounds sour but somehow my hobbies are tinged with western and chinese astrolgy, wheels and Ba zi’s . Yet when I look into people’s eyes I see something else, besides reading PAul Ekman, and Kevin Hogan, Leviathan, I’ve developed some sweet liking for difficulty, almost perverse though. Anyways thanks again I do have to keep my word.. and I will find time to make that watercolor that I blabbed about.. …All the Best, Max P.S. Oh I think women are more potent than men…
You live to create. That’s not an easy process always, and what you create co-creates you.
In this process you need with Saturn to gain and establish a new independence (1st house) and a new depth (opp to Sun). As Jupiter approaches your Venus, Moon and Midheaven, the rewards are just around the corner. Saturn is teaching you to take a full advantage of fortune when it comes, and fully live through your need to change and understand the change. It’s the emotional patterning that you were born into that needs liberation. Saturn is now facing you with this patterns, and I’m sure it’s sometime painful to accept yourself who you really are, beyond the the thoughts of self-denial, withdrawal, and lack of support. The more you take yourself emotionally apart and stay open for new thoughts and emotions, the greater the reward will be.
Considering that Saturn rules your 5th house, the possible positive outcome will be to bring your personal suffering to a public in a creative form.
Hope this resonates a bit.
Here your chart again: