I do have a permeating sense of chaos in my life. I believe due to this aspect. I read the one can integrate these two energies. I wonder how? Really appreciate your comments. Here my chart:
problems relating to father/men?
“Sun square Pluto A square formed between the Sun and Pluto shows a tendency for willfulness to build up in your nature. As the pressures become greater, you are apt to explode. This may be a puzzlement to those around you because most of the time you are so self-restrained and in perfect control. Perhaps there is a frustrated ambition for power and authority. This is an aspect often associated with a "revolutionary spirit.” There is an enigma in your personality, and you are defensive about forming close emotional ties. You have executive ability and the talent for managing ambitious enterprises. You must learn the art of compromise if you are striving to get far in life. This may not come easily for you unless it is shown elsewhere in the chart. With compromise and understanding of the egos of others, this is a power aspect. “ http://www.skyscript.co.uk/sunaspects.html#suspl
basic natal aspects