This is the most positive article I found on this topic:
“Saturn was called "the Greater Malefic” in traditional astrology. This name conjures up the darkness with which this planet has been associated. Doubts, fears, blockages, falls and failures were among its attributes. Time (a Saturn concept), however, has brought some new ideas on the subject. (Liz Greene’s brilliant book Saturn, A New Look at an Old Devil [Samuel Weiser,1976] was a formidable step in the direction of modernizing our understanding of this planet.)
Saturn, we might say, is the planet that says “No” but means “Yes.” It says no because its transits and natal chart position indicate where we encounter limits. The easy flow of energy is inhibited and functions are restricted. But, it means yes because it shows us where and how to build. For example, Saturn in the 2nd house can indicate difficulties with money or self-worth issues. However, with commitment, focus and patience (all Saturn keywords) someone with Saturn in the 2nd can construct a solid financial foundation. Saturn in Aries could indicate resistance to taking independent action. The instruction, though, is to develop methods that ensure one’s ability to be a pioneer. Simply said, Saturn shows where the work is.
Saturn square Venus in a natal chart often indicates difficulties in relationships. This is because the flow of love and approval (Venus) was restricted during childhood. This may be due to a lack of recognition, discomfort with emotional expression by the parents or approval that was highly conditional. Saturn often implies that conditions or rules govern a particular activity. This may be challenging when a difficult aspect (conjunction, square, opposition, quincunx, semi or sesqui-square) in involved. But, Saturn square Venus doesn’t mean a life without love. It means that love must be earned with accountability and careful attention to the relationship process. The no becomes a yes when we develop rules that work for us.
Saturn, also known as Chronos, is about time. Time provides a limiting framework, but such limitations are necessary to life. Without the boundaries of time, space and identity we can not exist as individuals. Saturn is about the separation process that makes life possible. It provides the necessary form for anything to come into manifestation, but also separates it from its source. Saturn, then, is the Fall, the separation of matter from spirit. Guilt can be a result of this “fall.” This is about being born a sinner, one who is separate from God or Spirit. The game of life, though, is to infuse matter with Spirit, to replace guilt with responsible action.
Saturn challenges in the natal chart are often about learning to use time appropriately. It’s not “never” but “at the right moment.” The penalties imposed by Saturn are reminders to learn the rules, or to create a more appropriate set of rules. The key is attention. If you can clearly see the patterns you can change them, or change yourself to transform pain into productivity. Saturn transits are moments of crystallization. They are times when patterns are formed and fixed. Undergoing a difficult Saturn transit requires action appropriate to the symbols involved. If, as is often the case, the transit occurs three times, the first passage defines the problem. The last transit shows the outcome. What you do in between helps determine this outcome.
Saturn, like age, shows the effects of time. It measures our successes and failures. In fact, a useful practice during a Saturn transit is to acknowledge all of your accomplishments. Each of us has achieved innumerable successes in life. Learning to walk, to talk, to tie your shoes and drive a car may seem trivial now, but are part of Saturn’s resume. Too often we are reminded of our failures, crystallizing them, ensuring their continuity, rather than taking note of what we have achieved.
Saturn, ruler of cardinal Capricorn and exalted in cardinal Libra, can be bold. It can be the architect’s plan made manifest, just as it is Spirit incarnated. Just as commitment and patience are its tools, compassion and caring are its antidotes. If life becomes too hard and brittle, Saturn needs to be balanced by the Moon. Inner needs, even irrational ones, require response. Take comfort in those personal activities that warm you so that you’ve the nourishment to take on the world that Saturn presents.
Trust is another essential quality of Saturn. In synastry (comparing two charts to evaluate a relationship) difficult Saturn contacts respond well to trust. This is not blind faith (that’s Neptune), but confidence earned over time. If your Saturn is on my Venus trust can allow me to open to you. It doesn’t come easily, but when it does you can provide me with clarity and order to achieve love in my life. Without it there is likely to be only fear.
When you’ve done good Saturn work (the natal house showing where, the natal sign showing how) the results are palpable. Opportunity (Jupiter) takes root, inspiration flourishes and intimacy is made possible. Saturn is not the enemy, but rather a force, an archetype if you like. It is the skeleton that supports us, the skin that contains us and the time and place that make life possible. It is only when Saturn is separated from the rest of us that it becomes a deadening force. Bathed by the Moon, warmed by Sun, sweetened by Venus and energized by Mars, it becomes a precious ally for life."
I hope this helps and that you are well!
Venus square Saturn. I have this. It was harsh in the early years. Perfectionism. People-pleasing. High-driving ambition to the point of workaholism. In addition to that my Saturn also square Moon and in wider orb, Mars.
My outlet was the other Venus aspects. Venus opposition Neptune (romantic fantasies), sextile Ceres and Jupiter/AC, trine DC, conjunct Moon, trine Pluto, inconjunct Uranus. By concentrating on your other aspects, you will realize the gifts at hand. Also, Venus square Saturn gives you a fabulous advantage. The ability to look timeless. I looked 28 at 14 and still look 28 in my mid-30s. According to my childhood friends, I haven’t changed looks-wise at all. In fact , I’ve been told twice this week I look underage. And there you have it. :)
I also have Saturn in the 7th, my Venus is in the 4th and the square is out of sign. But I still have a double whammy too.
I think it’s important to realize that you just have to keep working through it and working through it. There is no way to avoid the work – in fact if you try to (as I did for many years), the pain becomes harder to move through and the situations more complicated. Those of us with these aspects and placements need to just accept that this is what we have been given. And if it’s karmic, probably true, we still have to deal with it. We can’t run away from it.
I have met a men recently, the Aussie, who also has Venus sq Saturn. See, I already understand how this plays out and I understand how coolness on his part, isn’t a sign at all of what’s really going on underneath. I’ve also learned to be far more expressive about what’s going on for me. I tell him when I’m hurt or sad or happy, because he is incredibly responsive to it.
Now I am in my mid-40’s. I have had several relationships, lots of boyfriends and lots of lived experience. My 20’s were terrible just terrible and I had no clue what was going on, in my 30’s I did start to work on my self esteem. I took small steps, ones that I was capable of and it changed. So by the time I was 40, I finally took responsibility and began to see that I was the one choosing the loneliness, or the wrong men or what have you.