“Venus square or opposition Uranus The need for stimulation and the need to break the rules with regards to love and romance is apparent when Venus squares or opposes Uranus in the natal chart. These people can confuse their partners readily with their on-again off-again energy when it comes to matters of the heart. With the opposition, this is especially pronounced—when they are given too much space, they feel unloved, yet when they get the love they seem to crave, they can feel smothered by it. They can alienate partners by adopting an "I don’t care what you do” stance when they feel threatened. The truth is, they do fear rejection like anyone else, but they don’t always want to admit it, and they can turn quite cold when they suspect their partner doesn’t care. The energy of Venus-Uranus in hard aspect is embodied in the expression, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”. When close to a loved one, they can eventually feel smothered or antsy if the relationship becomes too predictable. They can also detach themselves from living in the moment and enjoying the love they have. When apart, they feel more free to love. This aspect is common in the charts of people who maintain long-distance or otherwise erratic relationships. There can be abrupt beginnings and endings in relationships. They are not very “good” at endings—they can appear quite insensitive, aloof, and brusque. The “let’s be friends” attitude might hurt a partner who felt there was much more to the relationship. These people have a disdain for conventional, traditional, or otherwise “normal” relationships. They need to learn to balance their need for closeness and their need for freedom. They truly detest social pretenses, and insist on being sincere. Being well-liked takes second place to sincerity. There is a strong attraction to all that is different, and all that “shouldn’t” be done in love and in sex. Taste in clothing and art is unusual, original, and unique.
There is a tendency to react spontaneously and intensely to others, and there is marked emotional impulsiveness with these aspects. Their most successful relationships are unconventional ones. Whether they do so publicly or privately, they delight in defying convention. They tend to move on and outgrow friendships. Some possess considerable romantic charm and humor, and they can pretty much charm the birds out of the trees when they choose to do so! Their love feelings are easily aroused and their romantic relationships begin with suddenness. There is a marked inner craving for emotional excitement and a need to feel spontaneous and free.
Venus square Uranus or Venus opposition Uranus: *Your love feelings are easily aroused and your romantic relationships begin with a sudden electric attraction, but they often end abruptly, and you may be in and out of love frequently – especially in your younger years. You crave emotional excitement and need to feel spontaneous and free, so you may avoid making firm personal commitments. Unusual or nontraditional forms of love and relationships appeal to you, and you are attracted to unique, creative, or unstable people.
You tend to fall in love instantly, and you need to discriminate between passing sexual fancy and something that can last “forever.” As your intuition develops, you will be able to identify the difference more clearly. When you “fall,” that is a good time to marshal all your respect for yourself and your partner, and to take things one day at a time until you have forged a deep connection"
The other people will need to understand this persons need for freedom and the unusal approaches to relating. There is a lot to be learned from these people, but unfortunately it does not bring stability or a linear progress. Here some other comments on this aspect:
Venus and Uranus have opposing natures: Venus is wet and brings things together; Uranus is dry and separates things. He writes, “there is a push/pull or approach/avoid feel to this aspect. It may appear on the surface that you want things that are mutually exclusive — you want your freedom but you also want to get laid regularly, for instance. You can have both, but you and the other person may just have to start out with a little less than you like, until a balance can be struck. Insisting on having your way all the way and all the time is either delusional or a deal breaker.”
Your conscious attempts to achieve objective understanding of the world and to relate to other people are strong, but your upbringing has resulted in your forming some pretty strange ideas about the world and other people, and these are difficult to change. You will therefore either identify with these ideas and expectations and find that they only hold true in off-beat situations, which you therefore actively seek out, or you will project them onto other people, and experience others as unreliable and strange. In either case, you are likely to lead an exciting life, but one that will be highly erratic and unstable, until you appreciate that for you there are two levels of thought, preconceived ideas and ideas that work in practice.
I found this at astrotheme (Prince William has it): Your sentimental life is adventurous: you prefer Bohemia to the comfort of a quiet but shaky love affair. You are a hard-liner and you think that love should be genuine or it should not be at all! You have difficulties in resisting your heart impulses and untimely passions that may challenge your affectivity. You need air, freedom and a relative independence. You also need to fully experience your love impulses, regardless of the price to be paid. The heart has its own reasons that no rules can hamper… The obvious danger may be to cause dramatic hurly-burly. Your inflexibility on the affective plane does not favour a quiet life where « one makes do with very little ». You are the all or nothing type. But does the absolute really belong to our world?
I like how Karen Hamaker-Zondag puts it her Aspects and Personality : “By and large, the tense aspects between Venus and Uranus receive pretty poor press in traditional astrology. And this is perfectly understandable, given that their inherent strain and unrest compounded by that of Uranus really tests the resilience of close relationships with others. What is more, Uranus is always the planet of the iconoclast, the individualist and the know-it-all – hardly the ideal person for holding a marriage or a friendship together.
With these aspects, we are tense, nervous and generally unsure in our dealings with others; consequently, we quickly get irritated, or fail to take enough time to build up one relationship before abandoning it to start another. The idea of change and renewal irresistible; what we may not realize is that the source of our restlessness is in our own emotional constitution.
Our inconstancy and fear of firm commitments are projected into a colorful series of on-off, half-baked relationships which do not give us or the other(s) a chance. New friendships keep ending as suddenly as they begin. On the other hand, nerviness can contribute to an almost Saturnian anxiety, which inhibits us from forming any close ties. This problem will recur time and time again until we manage to deal with its root. The creative side of the aspects can then be expressed in a very stimulating relationship with people who are just as determined to preserve their own freedom of development as we are to preserve ours; yet as a character they are sufficiently interesting to us. Such a relationship is not always easy but, with these aspects, we should become bored if things ran too smoothly. So tense aspects are by no means inimical to good relationships."
According to Charles Carter in his The Astrological Aspects “this combination has a tendency to make the native extremely ‘touchy’, so that co-operation of any kind becomes almost impossible.
The character is often good and kind, but the orientation of the will is, as it were, distorted. Unfortunate associates menace the life, both in love and in business, as well as in other ways. In marriage, the partner is uncongenial or dies; and sometimes the native is changeful or exacting or eccentric.
It inclines to peculiar and unconventional ideas about sex, and the native often has an exaggerated idea of independence and personal freedom,overlooking the fact that man is naturally gregarious and is more or less dependent on his fellows, whether he cares to admit this dependence or not. But the aspect does not incline to promiscuity or vulgar vice, and its connection with sexual perversion has probably been extremely exaggerated. However, the effects of the sexual life upon the health are often unhelpful.
It may concur with other features to signify tragic separations and bereavements in either marriage or other near relationships. It is a somewhat common feature in the nativities of suicides, and it is also sometimes found in the horoscopes of child-victims of assault and sexual offences, so that children possessing it should be carefully protected.It is not favourable with regard to the mother, who may die early, or be unfortunate or uncongenial.
It inclines to nervous instability and various nervous afflictions, probably due to repressed or defeated desires, for the desire-nature is strong and does not easily submit to repulse or rejection. It is useless to expect persons with this aspect to live a strictly conventional or harshly Puritanic life, for repression is likely to cause violent outbreaks or else repression-neuroses."
I have Venus in the 12th on my ascendant in Aquarius opposite Uranus in Leo near my descendant and both square the moon in Taurus. I have Saturn and Mercury in the 11th house and lots of other Aquarian planets. I find that I am living a see-saw. Whenever I like someone and want to get close to them, they run away and when I show no interest, they come closer, so I don’t know how to play it. The relationship starts quick and ends quick (usually ended by them.) I have had friendships for many decades, but relationships end within months. If I am to keep them in my life, then I have to turn them into friends only, which can be disappointing. Although I am gay, I attract women who want relationships, not men. The women offer love, the men sex, but not the two together. All this has meant that I keep myself to myself, being a good friend (I have tons of friends, thankfully, and get my love through them ) but not 1-2-1. I would have liked a monogamous man for a relationship, who is not controlling and is as spontaneous as me, but they seem very shallow.