This is how Karen Hamaker-Zondag describes this aspect:
“Uncertainty dogs friendship and love; and this person has a strong desire to prove himself or herself, or to take a firm hold on situations. He or she can appear very forceful. At the same time, he or she conceals personal emotions, because he or she is afraid to let him – or herself go – which would mean losing a grip on things.
Without knowing it, this person wears an impersonal, forbidding mask: thinking all the while that he or she is pleasant, friendly and ready to compromise (Venus), he or she is impersonal and off-putting. The tense reactions of others puzzle the native, even though he or she is the cause. Also, this person is inclined to attract difficult or cantankerous people with whom he orshe can engage in an unconscious power struggle. He or she is aware that they are trying to get the better of him / her, but unaware that he or she is actually trying to do the same to them. With an inconjunct, this person even makes a show of following the partner’s lead and of doing everything the partner wants, but on the tacit understanding that the native is always the centre of attention. Alternatively, this person may fall victim to someone who plays this trick on him or her. The aspect often goes hand in hand with confused relationships in which unconscious processes play a part. However, this person can be an outstanding marriage guidance (or similar) counselor,once he or she has penetrated to the core of the personal problem. An insight into what causes this behavior can make him a good adviser to those with similar problems, for he knows the tensions and difficulties all too well."
It may be exhausting to Venus Gemini, since Pluto in this aspect seeks constant attention. Pluto pushes for a new understanding of a relationship which often blocks the emotional flow with distrustfulness, manipulation and unfairly making the partner feel guilty. I’d say take it easy on your woman and give her more time. Good luck!
This is how the report here describes this aspect:
“You have ambiguous feelings about relationships. On the one hand, you want the security and warmth of knowing that your beloved cares for you as much as you do for him or her. But, on the other hand, you are so distrustful of your beloved (and yourself) that you are always interfering in his or her life to the extent of trying to manipulate emotional responses, pushing your lover from feelings of guilt to feelings of joy in an attempt to constantly stay in his or her consciousness. You must learn to trust your lover more if you would not experience the continuing remorse at watching yourself behave in such an underhanded manner.”